Mamu

My husband is having a hard time finding a job here in the Philippines. He is jobless for so many years  and is already feeling useless. I don't judge him that way. He may not be our provider but he is a good husband and father to us. He take good care of our kids and me and do some household chores. I know not all man can do that, and I am proud of him. He tried several times applying abroad. Before I asked him not to go because the offer is too small. Now he is willing to grab it. He said better than nothing. He was given an offer in Kuwait as an office boy and was given an offer of 60KD. I think it is about P10k in peso. Free lodging and food is included. Someone told him that he may not be able to eat the free food but he doesn't need to worry because the food there is very affordable. Later today he will have his first medical examination. If I will be asked I don't want him to go. Well maybe it is time for me to be stronger and be able to stand alone without him beside me. I always relax because I know he is just beside me to do the things I cannot or don't want to do. But if he leaves I need to be very flexible and strong. I hope we are making the right decision.

We are not in good financial condition right now. This all started when I give birth last July of 2009 without any savings. Aside from that since it is the start of the school year we also need to pay for David's tuition fee and buy his school materials. After I give birth I was on leave for 78 days without a salary. I've mention on my other blog that I am the only one working. To be able to survive we made a cash loan to a bank and also I used my credit card in buying some of our needs.

So I now I am paying 2 credit cards, my cash loan and I am now starting to pay amortization for our house. One more thing that adds up to our monthly expenses are my baby needs like milk, diaper and vaccines which are quite expensive. I've been to lousy for the past months forgetting about God and working on my own. I guess this is a wake up call to me. I thank God though I've been an unfaithful servant He was still providing my needs on His own and unexpected ways. Truly God has an amazing love. I am sorry Father for all my short comings and I pray to thee to be my guide in all of my decision.