Mamu

Yesterday the boys inside our shuttle are talking about womanizing. Our company provides a service which is a van that drops us to a different location. It is "boys talk" so its about girls, their past experiences with them, wild dreams, crushes, their type, etc. Someone even mention that they are just looking for girls whom they can have sex but not a commitment. They say it is hard when the girl falls for you because it is hard to leave the relationship. Imagine most of these guys are married. I wonder if all boys are really like that because as far as I know my husband is not a womanizer. I guess if he mingled with this type of guys he can easily be tempted because it is a guy instinct. Just like what they said it is easier to avoid sin than to get out of it.

When I got home I saw my husband washing the laundry. Seeing him doing it is a usual scene. I don't know what came in me but all of the sudden I feel bad. Its a combination of both pain and sadness. I started to feel that some people might be saying bad things about him. For about 5 years now it is only me who is working and he is the one taking care of our children. He also do most of the household chores which I also try to help. Instead of going to the computer which what I usually do after work. I started to cook food, wash the dishes and clean baby bottles. I also feed our two kids and prepared David to school. I got really tired and the sadness that I have was replaced with irritation. I easily get irritated to David's clumsiness but I am trying to control my temper because I know that I can easily get mad. Anyway when David went to school I was able to do my computer stuff and let our little girl go to sleep. I also fall asleep afterwards.

Before I left going back to work I saw my husband hunting for a job again abroad. The other night the agency where he applied before send him a message that he can now process his visa. I told him not to go because of the very low salary. I don't want him to leave not because of the salary really but because I want him to be with us. I am used to having him around and also I know it would be happier if we are together as a family. I am reading a lot of articles about OFW's sharing their experiences, how sad their life is living away from their family. I hope and pray that either he find a job here in the country or better we put up a small business.